I talk a lot about self care, not commodified “spend this money to somehow magically make everything better” self care as promoted by capitalism. Instead the self care which gives us time and space to check in with ourselves and ask – what do I need and how do I meet that need. Self care can totally mean bubble baths and chocolate, but it can also mean saying no, cutting contact, putting aside a project, changing plans, boundaries and protections.

In a year that has been very frightening for margenlised people both in the US and the UK finding hope, light and a reason to believe this darkness too must pass is, I believe, vital self care. I emphasise it with my supervisees, they cannot hold their clients fears and sorrow if they are overwhelmed by their own. This is especally important for therapists who share some or all of their clients margenlisations. The therapist of colour witnessing the kidnappings by ICE hit squads in the USA, the trans therapist witnessing long established human rights being revoked in the UK is needing to hold their own feelings and their clients. As a neurodivergent, queer therapist myself I realised at the start of the year I needed to find my own way of approaching self regualtion and self care.

In my process of unmasking, that term given to neurodivergent people embracing authenticity which makes us sound like Zorro, I had been finding great joy in the fantasy books community, and particularly the world of Tolkien and Middle Earth. Everyone says “find your tribe”. It turns out that a room full of neurodivergent people who all love learning exactly what the inns of the Shire are, and why they arent pubs (a paper I gave this spring) is a wonderful, welcoming, diverse tribe.

So it was that I began my podcast – Go Not to the Elves for Counsel. It is a space where through exploring the themes, characters, history and plots of Tolkien’s legendarium I can also explore thoughts and insights about mental health, psycotherapy, well being and understanding. In many ways it is show, don’t tell, in action. It is my way of creating light, for myself, but hopefully for any others who need it right now, as the clouds can seem to blot out the sun. I hope you will take a listen, but most of all I hope it will inspire others to follow their passions and allow themselves to create the things they need in these dark days.

As Hurin said “Aurë entuluva! Day shall come again!“